Excuses.
I really do try hard.
Sometimes I miss chances.
It seems like all the missed ones have some kind of an alternative which is usually better than all I have imagined for myself.
I have never been thaught to take care of myself.
1. To please others.
2. To fulfill the expectations.
3. To fight the time.
4. To be done way before deadlines.
5. To be the first in the class.
6. To win everything. And everyone. But myself.
These six things I was thaught to be true, thaught to take them for granted, for normal and expected.
And all I have been hearing are excuses.
Excuses for not having enough, for unproductivity, for living bad, for leaving, for dear people leaving, for dying.
And all I have ever wished for are reasons. They do not have to be realistic, or even true, I just need some guidelines to decide upon the path I want to go up.
Life scares the crap out of me. It really does. Mornings frighten me as well. Every day seems like a platform for doing something huge, something heroic, and something everlasting. And that is not what life is about. We can all be heroes for one day. Not every day. Not everyone.
Excuses.
Depression as an excusee for failure.
And vice versa.
Insignificance as an excuse for runing away.
And vice versa.
Fear for not loving.
And vice versa.
I have never been able to calculate, to be a mathematician in life. And I might shoud have been, at least a couple of times.
Be better. Than yourself.
Cancel the distractions.
Love.
Cautiously.
Be shy when you wish, but not fearful.
Fly if you have wings, but come near the land whenever there is a chance.
It is okay to fall.
It is okay to get rest.
Your voice, yes, it might be small, but don't you ever stop singing. Inside or outloud. Both counts.
With great love and respect,
A.
Novii Sad, 24.11.2014
Sometimes I miss chances.
It seems like all the missed ones have some kind of an alternative which is usually better than all I have imagined for myself.
I have never been thaught to take care of myself.
1. To please others.
2. To fulfill the expectations.
3. To fight the time.
4. To be done way before deadlines.
5. To be the first in the class.
6. To win everything. And everyone. But myself.
These six things I was thaught to be true, thaught to take them for granted, for normal and expected.
And all I have been hearing are excuses.
Excuses for not having enough, for unproductivity, for living bad, for leaving, for dear people leaving, for dying.
And all I have ever wished for are reasons. They do not have to be realistic, or even true, I just need some guidelines to decide upon the path I want to go up.
Life scares the crap out of me. It really does. Mornings frighten me as well. Every day seems like a platform for doing something huge, something heroic, and something everlasting. And that is not what life is about. We can all be heroes for one day. Not every day. Not everyone.
Excuses.
Depression as an excusee for failure.
And vice versa.
Insignificance as an excuse for runing away.
And vice versa.
Fear for not loving.
And vice versa.
I have never been able to calculate, to be a mathematician in life. And I might shoud have been, at least a couple of times.
Be better. Than yourself.
Cancel the distractions.
Love.
Cautiously.
Be shy when you wish, but not fearful.
Fly if you have wings, but come near the land whenever there is a chance.
It is okay to fall.
It is okay to get rest.
Your voice, yes, it might be small, but don't you ever stop singing. Inside or outloud. Both counts.
With great love and respect,
A.
Novii Sad, 24.11.2014
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