Just a reminder.
Wahtever you do, do not, under any circumstances, feel too safe or too comfortable.
Can you do that at all?
Oh, yes. Definitely.
Take a deep breath. Count your blessings. You see? Wonderful people, moments, music, memories, coffee-cups, rollercoasters, shores, dawns, trumpets, you got it all...
Remind yourelf, easily and with just a little bit of arrogance - that nothing of that is actually yours, your possession.
Ne, bato, to je samo srećan splet okolnosti.
Poklopljene karte.
Happily designed accidents and chaoses.
None of the people you love is yours.
Each one of them can leave. Even today.
The love you think about right now - he might be kissing another "special one" at this very moment.
Do not be stupid.
But do not be afraid either.
In pain is the man who never lets himself out of the bag.
You are blessed.
Work to deserve those blessings.
Because nothing in this terrifying, but absofuckinlutely beautiful world is free.
You have to pay - now or then.
And no work is enough work.
Outdo yourself in trying to deserve what you already have.
Very often a question comes to my mind: What would I be if I was never expected to win everything?
I know for sure. There certainly IS someone I want to win over, call "mine", someone I could sing with comfortably and carelessly. Let me down, you Someone, and consider yourself dead.
I want to win this.
Not for my mum.
Not for the sake of winning itself.
Not because I got used to winning.
Not because I am afraid of failure.
I want to win this for me. And the Someone. We deserve this win.
If not - oh, well, I will find something else to win.
Some other competition. There is always A competition.
A therapist whose suggestions I like to read says: write down your current problems on the paper and rip it, burn it, throw it away.
That's exactly what I do.
I write down those painful truths, deal with them for a short period of time and keep up working to deserve. To deserve better, more sincere and more beautiful. Because I am finally sure I deserve it.
And to be someone's number one. For real.
Till then...
Step by step.
And sing in the shower.
Take some chococlate.
A sip of coffee.
YOU
ARE
FINE.
Absolutely terrified and trully yours,
A.
Novi Sad, 24.11.2014.
Can you do that at all?
Oh, yes. Definitely.
Take a deep breath. Count your blessings. You see? Wonderful people, moments, music, memories, coffee-cups, rollercoasters, shores, dawns, trumpets, you got it all...
Remind yourelf, easily and with just a little bit of arrogance - that nothing of that is actually yours, your possession.
Ne, bato, to je samo srećan splet okolnosti.
Poklopljene karte.
Happily designed accidents and chaoses.
None of the people you love is yours.
Each one of them can leave. Even today.
The love you think about right now - he might be kissing another "special one" at this very moment.
Do not be stupid.
In pain is the man who never lets himself out of the bag.
You are blessed.
Work to deserve those blessings.
Because nothing in this terrifying, but absofuckinlutely beautiful world is free.
You have to pay - now or then.
And no work is enough work.
Outdo yourself in trying to deserve what you already have.
Very often a question comes to my mind: What would I be if I was never expected to win everything?
I know for sure. There certainly IS someone I want to win over, call "mine", someone I could sing with comfortably and carelessly. Let me down, you Someone, and consider yourself dead.
I want to win this.
Not for my mum.
Not for the sake of winning itself.
Not because I got used to winning.
Not because I am afraid of failure.
I want to win this for me. And the Someone. We deserve this win.
If not - oh, well, I will find something else to win.
Some other competition. There is always A competition.
A therapist whose suggestions I like to read says: write down your current problems on the paper and rip it, burn it, throw it away.
That's exactly what I do.
I write down those painful truths, deal with them for a short period of time and keep up working to deserve. To deserve better, more sincere and more beautiful. Because I am finally sure I deserve it.
And to be someone's number one. For real.
Till then...
Step by step.
And sing in the shower.
Take some chococlate.
A sip of coffee.
YOU
ARE
FINE.
Absolutely terrified and trully yours,
A.
Novi Sad, 24.11.2014.
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